Good News

There has been so much death on our service this week. I was really hoping to have a great sendoff with many miracles and jubilee, but, oddly enough, this seems more appropriate. I've had a really, really good run of things while I've been here. This week has just hit me like a ton of bricks. It's not just the death, it's who has died. I have watched two men, around my age pass away from complications of TB. I watched as a surgery went horribly wrong and we lost the patient on the table despite our best efforts. I heard about a fellow med student who fell ill and died thousands of miles from home. There have been numerous others: infants and children, women after childbirth. It has been tough.

So, naturally, I have been reflecting on the nature of my mission. Am I here to learn medicine and surgery where the "rules" for med students are less strict in order to have a great experience? Am I here to "save Africa?" Or, am I here to bring glory to God in such a way that it required a brief stay in Kenya to bring about?

To my shame, I would say that the former reason is why I came. To God's glory, I think the latter is the reason I am leaving. He has taken me by the hand and led me through many difficult nights, both on call and off, struggling with my own bias and prejudice, teaching trust and obedience. I have been pushed to the end of my rope more than once, but each time I have walked away with a profound sense of peace. I have had to wrestle with many of my tightly held convictions, some have been affirmed and some have been proven false. God has used many difficult situations to show me where my confidences lie, and has used many different people to teach me that He is not joking when He commands us to "Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might. And love your neighbor as yourself." I know that I don't do that as much as I ought, but I was astounded how little I actually loved others, and how little I loved God.

Working at Kijabe Hospital illustrated to me just how compartmentalized my life has become. I have a medicine life, a home life, a school life, a church life, etc; and each of those lives have differing roles for my faith, my attitude, my work ethic. Again, I was shocked at how much I could love God at my house, at church, in fellowship with others and then completely forget everything as soon as I walked into the hospital (even a Christian one). I have put God into His box and I am content to take Him out when covenient and replace Him when it suits me. I am ashamed to admit that I could ever have felt this way, but it was so pervasive in my thinking that it took God's constant prompting and much scripture reading to tease it out. I was specifically convicted by 1 Thess. 5:16-18. I was not joyful, nor prayerful, and definitely not thankful at all times. This was made more evident by the segmentation of my experiences. God is God at home and church; Medicine or Money or Materials or Myself are gods elsewhere. Foolish. God is One, says Moses, meaning that He is the same God over every part of our lives, not many separate gods that we create to feel good about ourselves. He is holy, He is righteous, He is just. He does not just wink and nod at my sin, but demands a payment that I can never afford. How glorious that we have Jesus!

This brings me to the Good News. Jesus paid the debt we could never hope to pay and so has made us right with God. Jesus allows me to grow and experience the Love of the Father with abundant grace and mercy and not the eternal wrath of a Holy God. Jesus is the one who makes this experience, indeed, this whole life, worth all the pain and trials and wonder and awe. Jesus is the reason anyone cared enough to venture into an exceedingly dangerous part of the world to offer help, medicine, and hope to those in dire need of all three. Jesus is the reason, I pray, that I will venture into some exceedingly dangerous part of the world to offer help, medicine (and surgery), and hope.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragment and your faithful prayers. God is doing good work here, thank you for playing a part in my life and I pray that Africa may play a part in yours.

Bless God and be blessed.